You see right off the bat that there are two commandments about spanking in Proverbs 23:13-14.  The first is to "withhold not correction from the child."  This is the temptation when you see your child misbehave, and this is what most parents do, despite critics saying spanking is the easy way out.  Actually, ignoring misbehavior, or just yelling at them is the easy way out.  The Bible says not to withhold correction when they do wrong. What kind of correction is the Bible talking about?  It continues by saying "for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die".  So the Bible is clearly talking about SPANKING, when it says withhold not correction.  It tells you "he shall not die" because people get soft about spanking because their kids scream and cry, and it sounds like you are killing them.  But in reality, although the pain is intense for the length of the spanking, once it's over there is no damage other then a stinging bottom.

The buttocks are the obvious part of the body where you should spank your children.  The buttocks are fleshy and well padded, yet very sensitive to pain.  You should never smack a child on their face, legs, or head.  You should pull their pants down and give them a proper spanking where God intended. The old saying goes "never hit a child in the face, the Lord provided a better place."   My mother once slapped my face, and it was very cold and harsh.  My mother later apologized and said she would only smack me on the bottom from then on.  Although I didn't like being spanked, she was clearly right, and being spanked on the bottom felt more like actual discipline instead of an angry reaction.   

It used to be quite common to use a literal rod, a tree branch known as a switch, to spank children.  It causes a very intense sting.  A lot of parents use wooden spoons or other flat wooden objects as a "rod".  My parents often used just their hands to spank me.  A lot of Christians object to spanking with your hands because the hands are supposed to be loving and children shouldn't fear them   But spanking is loving, according to the Bible, and I never felt afraid of my parents hands or cowered in fear or anything like that.  I knew that spanking was a consequence of misbehavior.  

The second commandment you see in these verses is "thou shalt beat him with a rod."  God is not saying spanking is optional, as a last resort when everything else has failed.  God is commanding you to spank your kids as much "thou shalt not steal" is a commandment not to steal.   It is important to God, so it should be important to us!  And the more spanking falls out of favor, the more we can see why it is so crucial.  People who grow up without spanking often are selfish, rotten people as adults.  God expects you to spank your children!

People often say they love their children too much to spank them.  But that is the complete opposite of what the Bible says.  "Chasten" is just an old word for spanking.  Often, parents love THEMSELVES too much to spank their children.  They don't want the conflict and negative feelings that come with spanking.  I am a parent, and it is very burdensome to spank my kids.  It makes me sad and I don't want to see them crying or upset.  But it's so necessary that I do it anyway. 

Notice also that the opposite of sparing the rod is chastening them "betimes"., which means early.  Some people think this means early on in life, but I think it means early on when there is a problem.  If you ground your child instead of spanking them because they broke curfew, you spared the rod, maybe you are sparing it for the bigger things.  But eventually, the child will keep pushing the limits, where if you had used the rod early on, "betimes", it could've deterred them from continuing on into more problems later.  Speaking from from my own experience, I knew what would get me spanked, and how far I could push my parents, and always went as far as I could without crossing that line.  It's just human nature. With my own kids, I have seen similar patterns, but I use spanking much more often, and as a result, I have very well behaved kids who got complimented on their behavior frequently.

Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Why is it parents these days want to drop their kids off, get rid of them, and have a "break" from them all the time? Because they are failing to correct them with spanking, as the Bible commands!  I love having my kids around, and they are a delight unto me.  I hate it when people say they can't wait until their kids grow up and move out, or other things that imply they hate being around their kids.  But their kids are insufferable brats because they don't get spanked, and no one wants to be around them, unfortunately.  If you spank your kids, people will actually like being around them because they have self-control.

And notice, there is peaceable fruit to them which are exercised thereby.  That means your kids will be at peace.  After a spanking, my children are peaceful.  That don't cower in fear as the anti-spanking crowd will tell you.  They often go about their day as before, but are more subdued.  Usually they want to be close to whoever spanked them, the opposite of what you would think.  When I was a child it was a relief to get spanked in some ways, because usually there was built up tension between me and my parents.

This verse says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. "Bound" means it's tied up, it's fastened in securely.  The only thing that's going to drive the foolishness out is the rod of correction.  Not the lost privileges of correction or room of correction, the rod of correction that they get spanked with.  Kids have some crazy ideas and it can be fun just to listen to them sometimes.  But sometimes those crazy ideas get acted upon, like when my son climbed on the neighbor's roof.  At 14, I decided I didn't need to do my homework any more, and got a horrible report card, including my first and only 'F'.  The rod, which was a belt in that case, taught me that I needed to do my homework, and I never got another "F" or even another 'D'', so that foolishness went far from me!

One of the things people will tell you in opposition to spanking is that kids don't learn self-control but rather are being controlled by you. This is the complete opposite of how it works, though. Children learn sel-control when there are consequences they want to avoid. As a normal boy growing up, I did not fear being sent to my room, which was the main punishment besides spanking I faced for misbehaving. I would even stay in my room after I was told I could come out, just to show my parents who was boss! This is the kind of foolishness children have in their hearts.  But a spanking was something I genuinely feared and actively avoided, even as a teenager.  As a small child it was the pain that was the main deterrent, but as a teen it was the embarrassment of being spanked.  It worked, just like the Bible says it will.

You need to spank your kids while there is still is hope.  The natural tendency is to spare, both by not spanking at all or by delivering a soft spanking because they are crying and you feel like you are hurting them.  But you need to resolve to discipline them thoroughly enough that you break their will and cause them to be sorry for their actions....not just sorry that they are getting spanked.  I personally set a minimum number of swats at their age.  If they are 14, they get at least 14 spanks.  If you are using a paddle or wooden object, this is usually plenty, but if you are using your hand, you will probably need to spank more.

When is there no longer any hope?  The Bible prescibes corporal punishment for adults as well as children, so there is not a magic age when a child outgrows spanking.  Notice the Bible says chasten thy "son", and a son can be any age.  The threat of a spanking was ever present in my home growing up, though it was not often carried out, I feared it right until I left home.  My mom swatted my backside once as a young adult, and although I do not recommend a single swat over the seat of the pants, the point was made that I was still the child and needed to respect my mom.  

The only time there is no more hope is if your child refuses to submit or be corrected.  The Bible talks about a rebellious son that is a drunkard and a glutton and that does not respond to being chastened being put to death, in one of the more unpopular passages of the Bible (Deut. 21:18-21).  Obviously, it's NOT up to individuals to carry out the death penalty, and that's not the intent of pointing this out.  But God said if that son didn't hearken when he was chastened he should be put to death--indicating there is no longer any hope for that person, and under God's perfect government this would be the law.  It's also quite obvious this is talking about an ADULT, because the son is described as a drunkard and a glutton. I don't know any kids who are drunkards.  So this adult son is still supposed to be chastened and given a chance to hearken to his parents.  When my mom swatted my bottom as a young adult, I hearkened.  I did not lash out at her or continue on my course of arguing with her.  Therefore, there was still hope. 

If you spank your kids "betimes" which means early, and continue spanking them whenever they need it, they will reach a point where they won't need to be spanked any more.  They will love you and obey you automatically.  I have an adult child, and she still obeys us, loves us, and respects us, and there is no more need for spanking.  Doing it throughout her young life worked, just as the Bible said it would.